Three Girls. Two Bottles of Wine. One Candid Conversation.
Three girls spend an evening asking and answering questions about sex, Valentine's day and handling that morning-after awkwardness.
Ever wondered what three drunk girls have to say about sex, love and relationships? No, us neither. But we did it anyway for your amusement.
Presenting: The Orbital Guide to Looser Sex and February Frolicking.
On one night stands:
E – I enjoy a good one night stand but nothing beats familiar sex.
T – I have never had one but with my dry spell I will take a one stop shop anytime.
B – I’ve only ever had one and I ended up kicking him out because it was boring.
On sex with parents around:
E – For the love of god lock the door.
T – Minimal movement positions are key here, think lazy morning sex.
B – Just don’t do it.
On sex in a single bed:
E – On top is a great space saver so don’t skip leg day.
T – Spooning is a great space saver but make sure not to make fun of his fragile masculinity when he is offended by your big spoon.
B – My lucky number is 69.
On getting laid on valentine’s day
Part 1: The pre sex prep:
E – Do some key networking at the next SU and Toast to warm them up before the big day which happens to fall on a beloved Wednesday. If fails, accept the booty call.
T – Plugin the airfreshner before you go, personal favourite is vanilla like my sex.
B – Head home for reading week and hit up that old flame for some ill-timed nostalgia.
Part 2: The Action:
E – Foreplay you want plus the foreplay you need multiplied by three.
T – Sperm and hair are the new oil and water.
B – ORAL
Part 3: Morning After Politics:
E– Cater for all vegetarian, vegan and carnivore options in the kitchen as well as between the sheets
T – Don’t stay for too long, get out by mid day or risk catching feels.
B – Take the stride of pride, you got laid.
On our favourite kind of sex:
E – Being woken up to sex is an ideal kind of morning.
T – Missionary has seen the biggest rebrand since Royal Holloway chose grey and orange- classy and simple
B – In control and on topform.
On spicing things up:
E – Sex Dice Evolved is an app that introduces new movements on body parts that you might not have thought of.
T – Edible underwear.
B – Do a Claire and Phil Humphey and meet in a hotel somewhere as two strangers seeing where the night takes you.
And there it is, The Orbital Guide to Looser Sex and February Frolicking. If you’re interested in recreating a more sexually diverse version of this article, get in touch at your own risk – we can supply the equipment.
Happy Valentines Day from all at Orbital Magazine!
The Official Publication of Students' Union Royal Holloway.