What’s Fresher’s week all about I hear you cry? Well in short they’ll be lots of drinking, offbeat dancing and microwave meals (or questionable concoctions someone will try to pass off as a meal) as well as, more eerily, the continued annual resurfacing of certain types of students.
There’s the one who can’t hold his drink, the one who’s early to lectures and the one who is the flat mother. Each and every year they are recast as if there is a continual re-run of Fresh Meat. So without further or due It’s time to do your best David Attenborough impersonation and take a measured look at the 10 types of student you’ll come across this fresher’s week.
You do things you would never do at home – eating out of date Pot Noodle is optional. Prepare to look back in a year’s time and cringe at your Fresher’s alter ego (I say Fresher’s, the whole year will be packed full with embarrassing moments which eventually you will laugh at). Don’t worry, you’ll be a sensible second year in no time at all.
2. Mr/Miss sociable
It doesn’t take long for these people to start making friends and networking. While you are struggling to remember your own name during fresher’s week (which inevitably you will, and start calling yourself some other name like Shirley), they have already managed to befriend all the societies president’s , captains of sports teams and Jan the cleaner, as well as all the other sociable butterflies which flutter around campus.
3. The Chef
While most students are living off a combination of cereal, ready meals and cheese-on-toast (so the majority), the chef will be preparing amazing meals with actual vegetables, fresh vegetables not frozen! On the first day look for the person who brings a full spice rack, mango chutney, multiple saucepans and most importantly baking trays. This person is definitely one to befriend.
4. The Party Animal
The party animal is the most popular person in halls and doesn’t care who knows it. Their room is party central, 24/7 – wave goodbye to sleep if you live less than 10 meters away. Alternatively, adopt a policy of ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ and stop by for a drink. The more the merrier!
5. The Night owl
Much like the party animal, the night owl will constantly wake you up at 3am, but not because they’ve brought everyone back to their room for a drunken after party — just because they’ve got a messed up sleeping pattern since beginning uni and decided that’s it’s the perfect time to have dinner, do their washing/vacuum their room/practice the drums.
6. The life-planner
They’ve got it all mapped out. They’re going to travel for six months after uni, then have an apprenticeship for a year before being promoted to a permanent employee. They’ll get married to some CEO at the respectable age of 26, have their first kid around 28 and another one, maybe two in their 30s. They’re intimidating- making you feel horribly unprepared- you don’t even know what you’re going to have for dinner (which if you go back to point number two, will by this time just accept defeat and acknowledge you are an awful cook) let alone what your kids are going to be called!
7. The Hipster
Despite thinking that the hipster (#hipster) trend had died a long time ago, you’ll see these students roaming around campus with their man-buns on point and some obscure independent band blaring in their ears, and more often than not wearing tweed, yes you heard me correctly TWEED. Expect them to quiz you on your music knowledge before they associate themselves with you- the likelihood is you’re not indie enough.
8. The Eager Beaver
They have their timetable (laminated) already up on their wall and colour coded, with all their folders and books ready, and in alphabetical order. Their textbooks are more highlighted than not and are more than likely to be covered in hand written posted-note, and they have a thing for pretty stationary. Do not make fun of the latter as you will be asking this person to borrow their fruit scented, top of the range highlighters at some point over the year.
9. The Selfie-Obsessed
The Selfie-Obsessed person will attempt to document every single moment of Fresher’s through the art of the Selfie/and/or snapchat. Will probably accost you in the club, choke you with a friendly arm and shriek “selfie!”.
10. The Best Friends
All these different types of people will become your best friends!