“Me and my partner have completely different political views and this often causes arguments that lead to no suitable conclusion. What should I do?“
By Ruby Caballero-Roff and Keira McTernan
There are so many elements to a relationship, and it can be simply put as there being the good and the bad. With the added personal stress of living a university student life, the bad parts can often be amplified whether that’s through emotional outbursts or rather nasty arguments that can’t be reconciled.
If you have already attempted the obvious and simple solution of confiding in friends and family, you may have already been given the astounding advice of “just don’t talk about politics!”. Which seems simple enough, right? But unfortunately, it just isn’t as simple as avoiding the topic altogether, as not only will that create an uncomfortable tension between you and your partner, but it is unavoidable. Politics is everywhere and can be grounds for a rather passionate, emotionally led debate once you get into things. With the news constantly reporting on the current political situation in the UK and the upcoming election in the US there are countless moments to pass comment on the way things are, however, these comments should not be causing arguments with no conclusion.
It’s handy to remember the trick that we should separate our personal morals and emotions when it comes to politics. If we let our emotions push our political debates this can often, if not always, lead to frustration and angst. I appreciate it can be difficult to not instinctively put a defensive wall up when someone may disagree with an integral part of your opinion, however, try to remain open to the idea that they may have good, understandable reasoning, and try with all you might to be unbiased. They are your partner after all, I am sure you saw some good, charming, and rational characteristics in them when you first met so just try and find them when politics is the choice of conversation. And I am sure that finding common ground will enable you both to speak freely and comfortably about politics and your own political views.
A variety of political opinions can no doubt be beneficial, and in my opinion, healthy and progressive, it seems no one can know everything especially political wise therefore having this variety should be fuel for some healthy, light-hearted debating. But, to have this progression it can be quite difficult as you have to be, yes that’s right, open minded! With being a young adult at university having an open mind is of course drilled into us, however the practicality of this is not always successful. How can it be right? In essays we have to defend our argument with references coming out of our ears. In a political discussion we are often too quick with stating facts and figures as well putting up our wall of defensiveness, this is natural, we do not want to be wrong or for people to view us as wrong -especially those we love. People often have very strong political views that can often coincide with their own moral compass, but do you know what else is strong? You and your partner’s feelings for each other! So I have no doubt that no matter how much time it takes, a solution to your problem will be found.. Who knows maybe the stepping stone of solutions will be your partner picking up a copy of this response! And remember, you and your partner are different people and so are bound to have some form of opposing views whether that’s politics related or having a squabble over what to cook for dinner.
Photo by Parker Johnson on Unsplash