TW!! mentions of sexual assault
Mya Rogers, Editor in Chief
“Why don’t you smile more?”
A question that every woman has been asked by a man in probably the most unsolicited moment of their life. You could be having the worst day ever, and a man will come along, telling you that the solution would be for you to smile more- mansplaining. You could be in the middle of breaking up with your long-term boyfriend, and he will still blame it on you because you didn’t smile more. You could even be stood in a court room, fighting a case of abuse, and the (male) judge will still tell you that maybe you wouldn’t be such a target if you just smiled more. You could go through all of these struggles at the hands of men, and they will still tell you to smile more; when really, what do we even have to smile about?
This smiley behaviour is probably even expected of women like Jane Doe, who was the victim of a gang rape in the Chi Phi fraternity at Cornell University. She suffered at the hands of fellow male students, being forced to consume an excess of drugs and alcohol at their house, so that she would be easier to manipulate and coerce in whatever way those boys wanted. She -rightfully- didn’t want to do what they wanted to, so they took matters into their own hands; if I don’t smile more, will you come and slap one on my face? Just like you slapped Jane that night. Even when the report against the assault was made, only two of the boys were expelled, the other five “were afforded the opportunity to mitigate their conduct by submitting essays”.
I can only imagine the sorts of things that were said in these statements, especially since Cornell hasn’t publicly released them. However, the release of the snapchat texts from that night, of other boys asking if the “Shop is still open?” tells me that they objectify this girl enough to also believe that her reaction to their abuse determines the outcome of the night. They’re the type to think that her being under the influence and smiling just enough, means that it wasn’t illegal and she must’ve wanted to have sex with at least some of them, but maybe if she just smiled more, then the other 50+ boys wouldn’t have been made aware that she was available for use. It’s simple to them, if she was nicer, they would’ve been nicer.
A similar incident was when Emma Sulkowicz, a student at Columbia University in the US, reported her sexual assault but had no one take the case seriously, and the University didn’t expel her rapist. As a way to protest against the lack of action, she carried round her dorm mattress (the one on which the incident occurred) throughout the duration of her degree, claiming that she would only stop if the right course of action was taken, and he was expelled. It ended up being that she carried this mattress throughout her entire degree, even having it with her as she crossed the stage at her graduation. This form of ‘performance art’ shows the burden that women have to carry when they aren’t shown basic respect and belief in assault cases. It shows exactly why women don’t smile more by putting it into context of a physical strain that people will understand.
It also isn’t that these incidents are only important in the US: it is still a very big issue across UK Universities- or just worldwide. Most Universities have equipment in place to try and keep drinks safe on nights out, and to lower the risk of getting spiked. However, when it comes to words and actually conducting a sexual assault investigation, there isn’t as much hope for the security of the victim. Recently at a UK University, students began protesting for their safety on nights out, when it was overheard that one of the biggest sports teams was planning on spiking (and who knows what else) girls during fresher’s week. Obviously the University didn’t want any bad press, so the sports team and the SU released a statement that they do not “condone, encourage, or accept targeting, coercion, harassment, intimidation, or any behaviour that puts others at risk. We have not organised, promoted, or attempted to arrange any activity of this nature”.
When you take this easy coverup into consideration, you realise why people don’t usually speak up when they are assaulted. Out of a group of around 4,500 students over UK Universities, nearly 62% of them have been sexually assaulted, and yet only 1 out of every 10 of them actually reports the assault to their University or police. Also, even if they did report the incident, only 2% of them were actually satisfied with what their University did in response. If Universities didn’t want to face the backlash of these claims, they should focus less on generating statements that use phrases just to please the public, and instead focus on making their campus and areas safer for their students. How are we meant to walk round without anxieties, when 75% of victims said that their perpetrator was a fellow student? And what about the areas that you claim we should feel the most safe because of security or the fact that we are in a group? Halls of residence (security protected) have a 28% rate of rape, SU bars and shops (security protected) have a 23% rate, and social events (safety in numbers) have a 24% rate. So maybe you do not condone or promote this behaviour, but you aren’t doing much to stop it from happening.
So next time you tell a woman to “smile more”, consider the fact that she doesn’t really have that much to smile about. Or even consider the fear that if she smiles, she might get told she was asking for it.