Thursday, May 23Royal Holloway's offical student publication, est. 1986

13 things only Northerners will understand

Think the North-South divide isn’t a real thing? Think again. Jess Wright discusses 13 things only proper Northerners will understand…

1. You will hear a familiar northern accent once a week, if you’re lucky, and even then it is likely to be from the same person you heard last time…and the time before…
2. You will meet people who will not believe where you’re from because you don’t sound like Cheryl…and then you’ll meet people who say you sound exactly like her, even if you don’t.
3. You will think everyone at uni is posh, despite your southern friends assuring you that they’re not.
4. When you speak to your friends from home and they say you sound like a southerner because you’re so used to pronouncing everything properly and at least three times before anyone can understand you (and even then you have to explain it).
5. You can forget about popping home for the weekend – even if you win the lottery for the train tickets back you won’t have enough time to make the journey anyway.
6. This also means your friends will rarely visit you at uni because you’ve practically moved countries.
7. You will spend half your night waiting for your friend to give her coat in at the cloakroom, and then pick it up at the end of the night, and they will be surprised and worried that you aren’t taking one, despite your constant reassurances that it isn’t actually cold.
8. It may be clichéd, but you will never get over how expensive everything is, and the thought of £5 pints is terrifying.
9. You don’t understand why none of your friends share your excitement for a potential shopping trip on Oxford Street…apparently it’s too touristy?
10. There will be some people who think that life north of Watford Gap is stuck in the Dark Ages.
11. When you leave campus, you’re surprised at how flat everywhere is…where are the hills?
12. Even when it rains, it still isn’t ‘proper’ rain, so it doesn’t count.
13. The Greggs in Egham is the one familiar thing that you’ll never take for granted, ever.
And yet, regardless of this, you still love your new southern friends with their southern mannerisms (but appreciate home just a little bit more).