Wednesday, May 22Royal Holloway's offical student publication, est. 1986

Lonely Hearts Club Anyone?

So, I’m sure you don’t need to look far to realise that it’s now February which means one thing and one thing only, the oh so beloved holiday that is Valentines Day is upon us. If it isn’t the masses of heart-shaped chocolates, teddy bears and tacky greeting cards that make you aware of its arrival, then it’s the extremely cynical Facebook statuses that don’t only grace your news feed on February the 14th, but also three weeks prior to the date as well.


Perhaps deep down you know that you are one of those social media complainers that the rest of us resent. Or better yet, you’re one of the lucky ones who actually have something planned which results in the rest of us loathing you even more than the cynical-social-media-squad and if that does happen to be the case, then why are you still reading? Get back to writing sloppy messages to your other half.


Loners, this article is specifically for you, doubling as your survival guide for the treacherous twenty-four hours that are indeed Valentines Day.


ACCEPTANCE Okay, so one of your housemates has a date planned and the other is bound to get a flood of anonymous cards from their many secret admirers. So what? It’s 2015, who needs love when there’s DVD’s, junk food and Taylor Swift, right? You’re alone, accept it and if one of your more occupied pals feels the need to remind you with a weighted question like: “Oh, are you spending tonight all by yourself?” take that as your go-ahead to belt a line once sung by a wise Disney Princess right in their faces:

“Yes I’m alone, but I’m alone free!”


FILMS Don’t be a rookie and make the cliché mistake of blubbering over Titanic and the Notebook all night. Try some of these for alternatives that won’t diminish your dreams of ever not being single on Valentines Day any further:


  • Marie AntoinetteWhat’s a Queen without her King, you ask? Well, historically, better off…And, what’s a King without his Queen? Still a King.
  • Frozen – If Elsa can survive a feature length Disney film and win two Oscars without a love interest, so can you. 
  • Mamma Mia! Psht, who needs dates and romance? Family first and all…



PASS TIMES Don’t torture yourself by looking at the endless stream of couples taking selfies with one another on Instagram, that’s not helping anybody. Instead try:


  • A Pamper Evening – Yeah, some people have dates, but will their dates have skin and nails and cleansed as yours? Probably not… 
  • Order Take-Out – Yeah, your best friend is at a fancy restaurant and you’re at home in your pyjamas. But, can they devour a whole pizza without judgement? Probably not…

IF ALL ELSE FAILS? Get into bed, grab the ice cream tub and cry your eyes out to the Adele album of your preference. You tried, eh?

Maybe next year.