Max Fleming on why we need to consider love as a spectrum.
The Bisexual community is often misunderstood by those in the LGBTQIA+ community and heterosexual folk alike. The spectrum of love that Bisexuals feel isn’t often brought to the attention of others and so hides in plain sight, perpetuating loneliness and isolation. The simple answer to the question ‘Are Bisexuals Greedy?’ is no. We are not greedy; we are not disloyal. We are not recognised for who we are.
The easiest way to describe the feeling of being Bisexual is to liken it to a spectrum. On one side, you have an interest in one sex, and an interest in another sex on the other side. For example, some Bisexual men might lean towards other men. This does not mean that they are ‘gayer’. They simply have a preference for one gender. This does not cancel out their attraction to women. The idea of “gayer” or “straighter” misrepresents the reality of the Bisexual expereince. Until the wider community changes their perception of Bisexuality, the community will remain isolated from the mainstream.
With Bisexuality there is often a sense of displacement and lack of community. Love for the same sex can be repressed and people force themselves towards the opposite sex in order to conform. The sad reality is that many hide their true identity for fear of being outcast by their close friends, family and society. This terrifying ordeal plays like a loop in one’s head. Feelings can be repressed but they can never be disposed of. A lack of repesentation and support might make it more difficult to come out as Bisexual, but it does not invalidate those very real feelings.
Bisexuality varies from person to person. Preferences fall on different points of the spectrum, making it even harder to find similar people one feels safe and welcome around. To be a Bisexual in today’s climate often feels like you are facing the world alone. This won’t change in society until people are able to respect the idea that love is a spectrum. We, as a human race, do not have to confine ourselves to singular groups of people. Love is not that binary. Yet sexualities such as Bisexuality are often associated with words such as ‘greedy’ or ‘slutty’. We are, in fact, neither. We are just free and unconfined and happy to be as such. We are not more likely to be unfaithful when in a relationship, we do not pry or stray because of our attraction to multiple genders. We simply want to love and be loved. We do not need blinkers to keep us focused, love is a connection between people. The lack of recognition for the Bisexual community is alarming, and there must be a greater focus on recognising the isolation of this community.
Open one’s arms and accept your friend for who they say they are. We are not aliens; we are people. Help us to figure ourselves out and support us in our decisions in the same way you would anyone else. Whether you are Gay, Straight or any other sexual orientation, Bisexuals are not outcasts from your communities. It does not matter where one lies on the spectrum of sexuality, as it is all down to the individual. Share your love with whomever you want, you’re your own person.
Written by Max Fleming, Contributing Writer