Good Villager/Bad Villager: People Pleasing and In(ter)dependence at University
By Rhian Kille, Associate Opinion Editor
‘I saw that at the core of me, where something real and solid should be, sat a mirror, reflecting whatever I thought others wanted to see.’ – Moya Sarner, ‘Are you a people pleaser? It’s time to find out what you really want’, The Guardian (2025)
As is true of most people pleasers, I like to think that people are overall pretty pleased by my façade of inexhaustible niceness and inoffensive demeanour. I used to include myself as part of this group, but recently anger, bitterness, and resentment, the classic symptoms of late-stage people pleasing, have begun to develop. I used to think people pleasing only made me a better friend. It was, I thought, at worst a harmless personality quirk, a cute pathological impulse. Now I’m coming to see it as ...










